MOM

So this time last year I was sitting at home NOT having to travel for work and considering the fall lineup of television shows for the evening. I got a fb message from a new friend encouraging people to attend the Norman City Council Meeting that night. I called to see what the big deal was. She told me that the Council was planning to pass a consent to recognize National GLBT awareness month. No big deal, right? Not so fast. Evidently a local wingnut had gotten hold of the agenda and was insisting it come before public comment. Political controversy? Free evening? I'm on it! What came next may very well have changed my life. That City Council meeting is now somewhat infamous. Red faced folks lined the hallways and auditorium pacing and grunting and .... well, praying. The Council began public comment and what came next surprised even me....cynical little ole me. The hatred and ignorance that followed was truly unsettling. Folks were lining up and cheering to talk about how gay folks should not be with us. I'm using nice words here, because they did not. I watched in horror as the Senior Pastor of Norman's largest church, glad-handed, and worked the crowd. To this day I don't think Mr. Mitchell has ever come clean with his attendance or influence at this meeting. But his flock was surely there! I feel like I've seen a lot of hatred in my life. As a student of the Civil Rights Movement, I have read more articles than most and watched more documentaries than most. Often through tear-stained glasses, but saying to myself "this is important, you need to watch". Married to a black man, I experienced some of the same hatred from many, even some in my own family. I've watched church families rip themselves apart. I've seen some crap! But it was nothing compared to what I heard that evening. It hurts just remembering it now. Ignorance is ugly. Ignorance and hate are really ugly. Ignorance, hate and "christianity" are more than intolerable. I just couldn't stand it. But I got to leave the meeting. I was lucky. As many now know, one young man in our community committed suicide later and cited this meeting as his "final straw". Bullying, intolerance, ugliness of all kinds had been things he chose to no longer live with. Our community mourned. I have tried to deal with my own anger, sadness, grief in my own ways. Raising two incredible young men. Raising one incredible young ally sister. Teaching tolerance whenever I can. Doing public speaking with local teachers. Encouraging my kids to do the same. Heck, I even attempted to get a meeting with Preacher Mitchell. But it's small potatoes in a world of hate! Some other moms in Norman evidently had similar experiences. Now we've all gotten together to form M.O.M. -- Mothers of Many. It has given me some place to rest my anger and sadness, as well as a place to funnel my activist energies. And tomorrow night we will be standing with our community at a Candlelight Vigil. A dear friend recently told me that helping Gay people find their rightful, legal place in society is our generation's Civil Rights Movement. That's hard to hear, because I know how that one went.....still goes on. Lots of people have to get hurt. Makes me sad. But today and tomorrow I choose to remember. They say, #It Gets Better. I really hope so! Here is the Letter to the Editor of the Norman Transcript from our group last Sunday: Editorial, Norman Transcript By MOM (Mothers of Many) Prepared for Sunday, September 25, 2011 Edition We are MOM. Mothers of Many. Our alliance is born of our grief of tragic loss of our community’s children who could no longer live with being bullied. We are transforming our grief into action. MOM is committed to standing up for our children, replacing condemnation, rejection and toxic words with understanding, compassion and acceptance. MOM believes we all share responsibility for one another in matters of social justice. We believe all people contribute to how our community is defined ~ as one that values and welcomes all. Your respect for all can not only change lives, it can save lives. Please consider these recommendations from MOM. To you, our LGBTQ friends and loved ones: Stay close to one another and to those who love you and support you. Don’t give away your dignity by listening to the fear-filled words of a vocal minority. To families: Love all your children unconditionally; accept them for who they are; and speak up on their behalf when others won’t. Maintain a ‘no tolerance zone’ for intolerant and abusive remarks. To straight allies: Speak up against persecution and bigotry. If every straight ally intervened on behalf of a LGBTQ person, what a powerful force that would be. To schools and other public institutions: Claim your responsibility for creating safe environments and protecting all people. Make sure you are doing everything in your power to implement policies that include sexual orientation and gender identity, practices and training that will result in safer spaces for everyone. No one is safe until everyone is safe. To our legislature: Enhance existing bullying legislation in Oklahoma that includes sexual orientation and gender identity. Help protect the basic freedoms and privileges that should be afforded every American, every Oklahoman. To faith communities: Begin discussion about religions really say about homosexuality – and listen to the stories of your LGBTQ members and their families. As you talk, as opposing viewpoints are expressed, stay away from words that are hurtful. There may be differences of opinion that are irreconcilable, but opinions must be expressed in ways that are not abusive. Imagine the strength in faith communities if all places of worship were open and welcoming to every person, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. If you are the mother of a LGBTQ child and would like to join us, please contact one of the members listed below. While MOM is for mothers who have LGBTQ children, Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) offers additional support for all family members and friends. Details about PFLAG Norman may be found online. Area high schools and institutions of higher education also sponsor advocacy groups. With great faith, hope and love, MOM Harriet Bohanan Leslie Bohon-Bothwell Cindy Cason Joyce Collard LWDallam Lisa Downs Nancy Hane Kay Holladay Jamie Hubbard Karen Lenington Jill Levan Glenda Peters Doris Riecke Pam Sanford Kathryn Smith Audra Urqhart Moira Waterbury